A 24 Year Old Pre-Law, Aspiring Politician's Guide to Crashing Birthday Parties

17 July 2010

1. Arrive wasted at 1:30am with rum, Pepsi and champagne in tow.

2. Assassinate the birthday girl’s specialty balloon by willfully stabbing it with your keys.

3. Knock the dart board on the floor. Party time!

4. After recovering the dart board, tuck the deflated balloon into the board corners to create a “new and improved” target.

5. Thizzle dance is a great idea.

6. When you’ve been shaken by the shoulders, slapped in the face, and screamed at for your obnoxious and unacceptable childish behavior- keep raging.

7. Shake up a full liter of Pepsi soda, slightly twist the cap, and spray the ensuing fire hose mess of brown foam all over the ceiling, walls and floor.

8. Upon being chastised for the sticky mess coating every kitchen surface: flee the scene, slip on the frothy soda goo, fly onto your back and take down the entire mobile island with you.

9. Once you have effectively crashed the party, destroyed the kitchen, ruined your friends’ reputations, and laughed the entire time through; run out the front door and disappear into the night.

10. Party on, future of American public policy!

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